Ask Anthea | M&A and Pregnancy
What do M&A and Pregnancy have to do with one another? Well, over a meal last week, a professional in her early 40s told me she felt caught in a bit of a pickle. At nearly five months pregnant she was happily about to go on a much-deserved vacation when her parent company revealed there would be layoffs after announcement of a merger. She told me that, right in the middle of all of this, her boss still didn’t know about her pregnancy or her planned eight-week leave at the end of the year. He works in a different office, and with all the hubbub of deal making, lay-off plans, integration plans, and celebratory dinners, which she’ll miss on said vacation, she felt stymied.
“Anthea, do I tell my boss before I go or wait until I get back?”
Hmm.
This one’s tough. It’s kind of awkward either way. If she announces it right before she goes, it’s as if her news and her absence right in the thick of decision-making will leave a pretty conspicuous void. Large companies during M&A and layoffs are abuzz with water-cooler conversations and gossip in every hallway. She won’t be there to have her ear to the ground, lobby, or read the tea leaves in any way. If she waits until she comes back, she’ll be showing and the boss is bound to wonder what took her so long when they’ve had numerous meetings in the last 30 days and probably the past week. When she asked me this, her vacation was one week away. Now, this individual is as thin as a rail, and I swear she still isn’t showing.
She’s a VP, a protected class. If you are over 40 and expecting in this valley, with all the noise about Google and Uber it would be really, really bad if her job were eliminated. Legally, however, it’s not off the table, and that makes it hard to break the news when you’re about leave on a major holiday during a major announcement, one where you’ll miss raised champagne glasses and meetings inviting top levels of management to meet one another.
So, tell the truth, create the opportunity, and focus on how to keep the department running smoothly and efficiently, humming beautifully just like a Ferrari.
My bottom-line advice: If you have quality time with him before you leave, then sit him down, share the news, and tell him how you plan to keep your new department (now doubled — she’s on high performers list) running smoothly and efficiently, humming beautifully just like his favorite Ferrari. If she doesn’t see him before she goes, then she should email him a day or two before she gets back, indicate they had a tough time connecting before she departed, and that she needs a half an hour of his time to speak with him the day she returns. Preface it with, “I’m not quitting, but I need 30 minutes of your time.” (Every leader I know hates the “do you have time to talk” email or voicemail one-liner because it usually means some shoe is going to drop when someone walks into your office.)
Tell him they were both too busy to have had a proper sit down, but only if that’s true. Otherwise, it’s going to sound trite, because no matter how busy things are, ideally she’d have requested time on his calendar to share the news and her plans once she was through the safe zone of the first trimester. Most bosses like some notice, and she must not avoid him because that’ll come off worst of all.
So, tell the truth, create the opportunity, and focus on how to keep the department running smoothly and efficiently, humming beautifully just like a Ferrari. At the end of the day this company says it wants more women in upper management. She’s a high performer and results count. She says he’s not a doofus, so let’s hope that focusing on results works. Tell the truth and be genuine. The company has been through a demanding period. The vacation was planned before the little one was even conceived. She didn’t want to bother him with her news when so much was going on at such a n important time. Then, layout a plan that is seamless and bullet proof and that reminds him of his Ferrari.
Got any thoughts or experiences with this one? Would love to hear from anyone out there who has faced a certain dilemma. When I was expecting my first, I was 29 and the youngest female VP in my company’s history, and working at one of their subsidiaries. I didn’t show until I was five months along, and when I shared the news, they treated me wonderfully, including the guys in the c-suite who were my peers and the CEO who we reported to. They even threw me a shower. My son still has the Teddy Bear they gave me. My peers were all men, and they were a hoot. I still have the fondest memories of them and even the Senior VP who visited me in my big office and made a point to commemorate. He even joked that I pulled a Murphy Brown because I was divorced and single, but they never blinked.
Two years later, when I was expecting my second son and married, my then CEO was a woman, and at this same company. She was new, wanted a new team, didn’t want me on it, and made that abundantly clear. So, I negotiated a package. I was a protected class. They wanted my job, and back then, they’d pay handsomely to make sure everything was copacetic when, after a decade of employment, I left on maternity leave never to come back.
Let’s wish this young woman the best as she advances her career and her family and breaks the news. I’ve asked her to keep me posted about what happens.
We all have our stories. What’s yours? I can’t wait to hear from you.
Anthea C. Stratigos is Co-founder & CEO of Outsell, Inc., the leading research and advisory firm focused exclusively on data, media, information, and technology. Get professional and personal lessons from a career spent mentoring successful leaders. Tell your story or ask a question — confidentially. Ask Anthea!
